Oh How He Loves You & Me

I received a CD in the mail today. It wasn't just any CD. It holds a video of my niece, who is not yet 3 years old, singing the "special song" at church on Mother's Day. It's pretty much one of the most amazing things in my world right now. The picture is clear and so is the sound. She stands beside her mama who sits to help hold her on the chair (so she could be seen) as well as to hold the microphone. She sings the whole song - which is actually three songs - a medley that lasts over 3 minutes...adorable!

The songs she sings are Jesus Loves Me, Oh How I Love Jesus, and Oh How He Loves You and Me. Now "many" children know Jesus Loves Me, though it doesn't keep me from watching the video over and over in awe and joy. But a special bit of joy came to me as I fondly smiled at her singing Oh How He Loves You and Me. My daddy sang that to us when we were little and now Cara sings it to Loralai. It's a family thing.

That actually reminds me of another time Dad sang it to me when I wasn't so little. I was in college, away from home and amidst the most stressful quarter of my college career. One class in particular especially worked me. I remember thinking then, and still believing it as I look back now, that I could have kept a "normal" amount of busy with schoolwork from that class alone.

It was a Sunday and I'd left church early because I just had to get out. I needed to get away. I went to another church to catch up with some friends and we probably went out to lunch. I was a little off that day to say the least. We headed up north to my friends house where we would spend the afternoon. People were coming and going and I sat on the bed an worked.

That evening my computer had a mini-crash. I lost quite a bit of work and I was done. Tears made their way down my cheeks - mostly in silence. We made our way back down to the church where my car was and I sat alone in my car and bawled. I didn't just cry - I cried hard and loud and from the depths of my inside. I was DONE.

I called my mom and talked to her for a little while. She got me calmed down and I asked to talk to Dad. He was out of town for some business meetings. I hung up with mom and called dad, with tears still in my eyes and a quiver in my voice I said, "Hi Daddy." He asked me what was wrong and I told him it didn't really matter, I was just stressed out with school and I had talked to mom about it, I just called him for him to sing to me- Oh How He Loves You and Me.

And so he sang.

I didn't find out till later that he got a little applause after he finished and hung up because he was sitting in a Denny's restaurant not far off the strip in Vegas eating a late dinner. (I am loved)

I went home that night, took a long hot bath, and went to bed.

A little later after my mom told her what happened, a dear family member commented something to the effect of, it being good that "life's problems could be "solved" (at least greatly helped) with a good cry, a song from her daddy, and a long hot bath."

I think I could go for all three right now.

In Search of Beauty

This week seems to have started a very significant leg in my journey, filled, even plagued with a lot of tough questions. But one of the coolest things about all of it is the hope that emerges through the doubts, heartache and frustration.
There were many times this morning that I hear Rob Bell's voice in my head asking, "I mean, where does beauty come from?"
I set out on a walk with God to open my eyes and to see some beauty all around me and get a little inspiration.

To see the pictures from the journey, click on the following links:

Album 1: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2059329&l=ef4b4&id=60713977

Album 2: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2059357&l=41310&id=60713977

"This Stuff Can Really Mess You Up"

These were the words our guest teacher had to offer this morning as he instructed us in the differences between Greek and Hebrew thought. I'm not sure how the topic strikes you but it is VERY interesting and also insightful. I really enjoyed it but admittedly am being "messed up" by it. I am a westerner, raised in an educational structure and over all mindset from the Greeks/line of Greek thought. The line of Hebrew thinking goes not only against what I know, have been taught, and understand, but also seemingly (it feels like) it goes against some things in my personality, my very being. There is still a lot more learning, thinking, processing, understanding to do before this will be fully formulated and before I can talk more about it, but in the mean time its not even so much that "this stuff can really mess you up" and this stuff IS really messing with me right now...

Leaving It All on the Field

I don't think I ever told this story in the past, although it "dates" back to October when we had out first guest teacher/pastor here. I won't jump into the full back story, as the new story from today will explain it enough but I just wrote an email and wanted to share it with you, my beloved blog readers. :)

Short back story, the Pastor who was here told about his son who loves baseball but has a physical handicap. Each year he tried out for the school baseball team but was cut. His final year of tryouts he was 1 of the last 2 people cut. Later in the year (I believe at the awards banquet) the coach acknowledged that he wished he would have kept this passionate young man on the team. The way he gave it his all (and didn't go home until his all was given) and general attitude he brought to the other players and "team" during try outs was exemplary, the kind of players you want on your team.

Here is part of the email I wrote:

Now, what keeps coming to mind...I cannot count how many times your story about [your son's] baseball try outs has come to mind just over the past week or two. [We have another guest teacher this week.] This morning we started watching a series from John Maxwell. He tells the story of the UCLA basketball coach talking to his players, individually in practice, when they weren't giving their all. He talked about how you can't make up for not giving 100% today, because you can't give 110 or 150% tomorrow. You can only give a hundred, so if you don't give it today, it is lost. Again, I just thought about [your son] leaving it all out on the field.

I was pondering "leaving it all on the field" a little bit again just last week. I still don't know what exactly that means, or better stated, how that plays out in my life. There are so many days when I feel like there is more to give, more to do, more...and not just in a workaholic type mode but in a way where I desire to give and do more, to invest more. As I continue to move through this faith journey, I trust that God will continue to teach and guide me...that somehow, hopefully sooner than later, I can and will learn how to consistently, day by day, give it my all so at the end of the day I know I left it all out on the field.

Food for the Soul

Just a quick thought...I talked to a precious friend of mine today whom I haven't talked with in, well, months. One of the people here knows her too and came up while we were speaking. They conversed a little bit and my friend an ocean away let out one of her classic deep-gut laughs. I love that laugh. It always makes me smile. I think there is something to be said for really laughing when something really gets you. My mom would say about someone who had a good laugh (somewhat unexpectedly) "she just got tickled..." So the next time the opportunity presents itself (and not at someone else's expense) don't just chuckle to yourself or laugh a little, if you are so moved, laugh. Laugh from deep down, a good gut laugh. It is food for your soul.

Borrowed Thoughts to Ponder

One of the books I'm reading right now is Donald Miller's Searching For God Knows What. I read it recently, like a month or two ago but I have to return it to it's owner soon. I didn't feel like I got the full effect the first time so I wanted to get something new out of it, but also for some things to hit me again. The owner doesn't actually know that I have it, so I want to enjoy it once more before returning it, and borrowing another. He will know this time.

Anyway, I thought I would post some quotes from the book, and depending on time (thank you adobe for your updates thus making this time for me to blog), maybe even make a few comments...

1) The paragraph starts out: "If you ask me, the way to tell if a person knows God for real, I mean knows the real God, is that they will fear Him. They wouldn't go around making absurd political assertions and drop God's name like an ace card..."

and ends it with

"It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe (Miller, 38)."

I think those are some pretty insightful thoughts. I think while so many of us know that and believe it, its nice and necessary to have words put around it. I mean, there are people that just throw us for a loop. Admittedly there are people who make me wonder, "what god are you serving?" and "how do you figure?" May we each fear God and live out our lives with a little more reverence for him and compassion for people.

Thought #2

"What if the motive behind our theology was relational?(Miller, 45)"

Mmmm that's more of a bite than a can chew here, now. I believe, thoroughly, that God, my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of the Old Testament and the New is a relational God. I believe that he desires to be known by us and to have personal, real relationships with us. Donald Miller also writes, " This God, and this spirituality, was very different from the self-help version of Christianity. The God of the Bible seemed to be brokenhearted over the seperation in our relationship and downright obsessed with mending the tear (Miller, 44)."


And finally, thought #3
"...I started wondering if the message God was communicating to mankind, this gospel of Jesus, was a message communicated to the heart as much as to the head; that is, the methodology was as important as the message itself, that the idea could not be presented accurately outside the emotion within which the truths were embedded (Miller, 56)."

Now I have some friends, males in particular, who are quite good at not just separating themselves from their emotions, but just simply being separated from them. I'm not sure what they would have to say about what Miller said, but I like it. I think his ponderings are at least worth some pondering of my own. I'm glad that Jesus came not just to redeem my life but to renew my mind and restore my heart.

Like I said...just some borrowed thoughts to ponder...

Its Been Awhile...

Life. Its sexually transmitted you know...and it's a little crazy right now. I've been meaning to write about my [enter sarcasm] AmAzing experience of getting my VISA (there are too many government buildings like HHS that have nothing today w/ sickness or disease...I'm just saying.) I should also tell you a bit about my trip to Rome and the most recent news (though not nearly exciting for you as it is for me) I have my own room! (Hallelujah!) We now have the whole house. The boys have the apartment/living area downstairs and the girls still have the upstairs flat.

We, the Engedi team, have been gearing up for this summer in Kaiserslautern, Germany (K-Town)...if you haven't heard about this adventure yet and (potentially) want to participate, let me know. I'd love to tell you more about it.

Oooh, I should tell you about my small group too. Good people, but one of the most interesting assortment of people I've ever led or even just been in a group with!

Well, thats about it for now. Sorry, the creative writing juices just don't seem to be flowing...short version: Life is good and I am still alive...and kickin'!