Remarkable.

Happy 2013! I don't know if this post signifies that I will be posting more again but I do think that it is, at the very least, a nice thought.

A couple years ago I was a part of a young professional's group (the church called us the "single young professionals, but we always managed to drop the "single" part when talking about ourselves... more on that later). Anywho, during our first meeting after the new year, the guy leading that night challenged us to come up with a "word for the year". There was a whole webpage devoted to this idea which contained short videos of people talking about their word. I just did a quick Google search and didn't find the website; it is not the one from the American Dialect Society, just to be clear.

I've been reading Seth Godin's Tribes. Godin is an incredibly intelligent (not to mention successful) man. He's a good writer and I've really enjoyed the talks/interviews I've heard him give. Tribes has influenced (to the point of changing the language people use) the people with whom I'd like to believe I'm associated---so much that I thought it was time I get on board and read it.

Time and time again in interviews with Godin, in his speaking and writing he uses the word "remarkable." Remarkable. When I read that a couple weeks ago I started think about what makes a life remarkable. I'm not sure that I really know but want to at least pursue finding out. So, that's my word for 2013.

Through no fault of its own and as no reflection on the group, my word for 2011 was largely irrelevant, even from the beginning. It was a great word but I was not as attached to it as I should have been nor embracing or pursuing it as much as what could make it meaningful. But I'm going for it this year. Hopefully it will last at least until February or March when all the other resolutions are wearing off too. But maybe, just maybe, it will stick around. I'm looking forward to the journey.

Do you have a word for 2013?

What's something remarkable people can do? What makes a life remarkable?

Jesus Calling

For Christmas I received a copy of the daily devotional book Jesus Calling. My friend has been encouraged (and perhaps challenged) by it over the last few months and gave me a copy.

Sometime over the last year I got into the habit of checking Facebook first thing in the morning. I would wake up, hit snooze on the alarm on my phone and lay the phone next to me. When the time came for me to actually heed the alarm's call, I would roll over, grab my phone and open Facebook. Of course, one of the main purposes was to justify staying in bed…

I’ve noticed that Facebook has become something I do/check more out of habit, or as something to putz around with because of lacking connection here far more than for actually connecting in most cases. So, I’m going to try to kick the habit. I naturally did it a whole lot less while I was home, surrounded by family and friends. It’s time to make (or at least try hard to make) that a reality here, minus the fact that my family is indeed, not here. I digress.

In light of embracing a new waking up process (yes, it is a process, usually a painful one), I started this morning by reading today’s writing in Jesus Calling, which is written from the perspective of God/Jesus. It wasn’t until I read it slowly, in pieces, the second time that this phrase stopped me in my proverbial tracks, “…I am fully attentive to you.”

Fully attentive. It’s not very often that we get “fully attentive” from people. I have a friend who would prefer to communicate with me on Facebook than over a meal… which I learned over and over again as she spent time on Facebook while we were, in fact, having a meal. People say that Bill Clinton is an expert at this – being fully present and attentive. (Warning: Jesus Juke: you know who else was that way? Jesus.) I’d like to be that way but I realized how often I don’t think of God as being that way. (Forgive me, Lord.)

Even as I was talking to God this morning I realized that it was more like I was talking at him or just throwing it out there hoping it would stick. John Ortberg’s God Is Closer Than You Think made me realize that a lot of times I prayed like I was writing a letter that would have to be sent and received. At times, journaling only perpetuates that for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe God loves me, cares for me, listens to me, etc. There are times of prayer that feel deeply connected and meaningful. But there are also times when I feel like God is the parent who is trying to do five (or 50) things at once – only one of which is listening to their child. So today I mentally grabbed God’s face (no theological implications here) – a hand on each cheek and looked into his eyes as I spoke. It was kind of strange, almost uncomfortable, but we’ll move past that and I’m looking forward to it.

How about you? Is prayer like a conversation, a letter, or a child in the other room?

Bonus Bits

Also, I came across a draft of a post that never made it very far, much less was published so here are some bonus bits:

Erwin: I think its so funny how we admire the words of Jesus but so rarely do we actually live them out.

Even though we're not in control doesn't mean the situation isn't in control. -MO-

In some things, we become more of who we are. If this is part of your process, okay, but there are other times when crappy situations, bad economy, and life wear us down and cause us to be only a fraction of who and what we are. Don't lose yourself in this process. (I don't know/remember)

It's been a long while...

I've had plenty of thoughts bouncing around and sitting in the 3.5 lbs of gray matter in my head but they haven't made it here... sorry. In posting on my reunion, I found a post that was never published because it wasn't ever completed. Hopefully the days to come will bring it and more posts. Thanks for checking in...

Going Back to High School - thoughts on my 10 year reunion

(Preface- this is a late night post that has not been - and may never be- edited... forgive my grammatical and, no doubt, other mistakes):

With my 10 year high school reunion just around the corner I wanted to share some thoughts about going back. It’s hard to believe its been 10 years. The day after the reunion will not only be my 29th birthday, but also mark 10 years to the day that I moved away from the place I called home for more than 11 years.
Since leaving, I’ve spent 3.5 years in Colorado (during which I held Texas residency and a drivers license, thanks to my parents), about 6 months in Arkansas, nearly 4 years in Germany (Frankfurt and Mainz), and I’ve been back in America more than 2 years now – first in Kansas and now, by the time of the reunion, 6 months in Indiana. I trust that I will always be more of a Husker than a Hoosier.
With that brief history behind us, I look forward to our reunion in a month.  Here’s what I want to say to the LSE Class of 2002 as we reunited:

1. Give people the room to have grown and changed. While I’m sure we will find some folks have changed very little (save some facial hair or weight) some may have changed quite a bit. Most of us know now that college isn’t the same as high school. Some of the more quiet classmates may have blossomed into louder versions on themselves. Some of us have faced tragedy we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemies. Others of us have made more of a point not to have enemies.  Our experienced have continued to shape and define us; we are not, for the most part, the 17 and 18 year old versions of ourselves any more.

There are classmates who haven’t left Lincoln, and others like myself who have hardly returned, some have  made it around the world and back – via studying, traveling, volunteering or courtesy of Uncle Sam. Speaking of Uncle Sam - can you believe that we were in Southeast when 9/11 “happened”? Our world changed that day. In the 11 years that have followed worldviews developed and changed for each of us. We have gotten married (and perhaps divorced), had babies, come out, gotten clean, received a degree or two or three. Some of us have jobs while others need jobs. Some of us have careers and others are still hoping to find one.

Are you prepared to offer kindness and respect – to offer or rekindle friendship with those with whom you will soon celebrate and commemorate? Realistically there will be plenty of people we don’t remember (and maybe never knew)– our class was huge– but those with whom you have things in common, used have thing in common, never did and perhaps still don’t have anything in common- will you offer respect, dignity, friendship?

2. Be prepared to say your sorry or to offer forgiveness if you need to do so. No doubt, there will be plenty of members of the class of 2002 that don’t come to the reunion for one reason of another. For those of us that do go, rather than lugging any baggage of guilt, unforgiveness, or bitterness around for another 10 years – if you need to say you’re sorry and/or ask for forgiveness just do it. If you have been carrying around hurt, lies, bitterness, etc for the last 10 years from high school, it’s time to let it go; its time to let yourself out of the chains. As author and theologian Lewis Smedes wrote, “ To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

If you need counseling, get counseling. If you need to get sober, get sober. It’s not easy to forgive—yourself or others—but its necessary, even if the person never asks for it. Not to mention the freeing power of, having asked for forgiveness, being told, “I forgave you a long time ago.” Not every relationship needs to be reconciled; you don’t have to be best friends or even friends but we can show respect for one another’s personhood. Let’s decide now to enjoy the weekend and let it be marked with meaningful conversation as well as fun.

3. Have fun! Take time to look back and reminisce. Remember Spring Days, performances and games. Remember the place you sat day after day for lunch and those with whom you sat. Look back with joy on days that have past. And while you are at it, take time to thank a teacher or two for the investment they made in you.

4. Look ahead! Look with hope to the days to come. Embrace the journey – with family and friends by your side. “Invest in yourself today so that you will have something offer tomorrow” (E. McManus) and give – of yourself, your time, your finances and/or whatever else you have.

I was (and am) proud to be a Knight. Before I could officially call myself a knight (as a Pound Squire) I remember watching a LSE show that benefited Habitat for Humanity. Those just before us believed that “every knight needed a castle” so they built a house. We build a playground and gave to our community in a number of other ways – through classes, clubs, and as individuals. Let that generosity and public service continue. We are still, and forever will be Knights. Whether under that banner or another, may we give of ourselves to make the world a better place.

5. A final note: I had the privilege of being a graduation speaker and you were subjected to listen.  J My grades were not in the top 3% (I won’t name names, PhD holders ;) but my speech was and so I got to speak about defining moments. Admittedly I don’t remember it all and the floppy disk has long been gone with only a paper copy or two remaining. What I do remember is it opening by referencing the Swindoll quote about being “convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it”. I talked about the defining moments we faced as a world, nation, school, and as individuals - in the choices we made day-by-day.  I’m sure the conclusion was brilliant but since I don’t know what it was, I leave you with this—for now and a month from now—entitled The Time is Now (by Dr. Earl Reum):

THE TIME IS NOW
To live a meaningful life--a life that allows you to grow:  physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually--completely--and on purpose!

THE TIME IS NOW
To give unselfishly of yourself and your talents in order to make life a little easier for at least one specific someone else and maybe for the whole world.

THE TIME IS NOW
To celebrate the differences in others.  We must no longer be divided as Black, White, Brown, Red or Golden-skinned "races".  We need to LIVE in harmony as THE HUMAN RACE! "The crew" on the spaceship Earth!  Not a melting pot, but a salad!

THE TIME IS NOW
To believe in yourself.  There will be times when others won't; but if you deeply believe, then add in the magic that's in your heart, you become all that you'll ever need for all that you will eventually do!

THE TIME IS NOW
To take risks:  to move in the direction of your dreams.  It could mean facing rejection, or failure, or perhaps enormous success, but you'll never know until you take those risks!

THE TIME IS NOW
To dream!  Seek your own special place.  Let your mind create your world. Turn an idealistic fantasy into a promising reality.  Make a positive difference in your world--in other lives--in your standing place.

THE TIME IS NOW
To commit to those values you have chosen and let them guide you in every decision of your life.  Never compromise your beliefs.  Walk the talk!

THE TIME IS NOW
To laugh.  A contagious condition where everyone wants to be "a carrier!"

THE TIME IS NOW
To be responsible for who we are and the person we are each becoming. It's time to lead a full life which will benefit others.  It's time to be an inspiration for people as they shape their lives.  It's time for me to be my best self to become the best person that my potential will allow--with effort and determination!
It is such a personal, private discovery!

Asking the Wrong Question

A couple of things have come up in the last week that, in short, point to me asking the wrong question.

For the first situation, for lack of better words, I was asking why. Now, I do think that why can be a good question, but there are a lot of times when it just isn't. Sometimes, even if there is an answer to the why, it doesn't matter. It doesn't help. When you are hurting, it doesn't stop the pain. In life, especially in matters of suffering, the question to ask isn't why but rather what now.

What now? What now reminds us that there is a now--a now to be lived. It reminds us that there is a next step. Healing can come; we have permission to grieve and to move forward. What now permits us to walk by faith and exercise trust.

In many ways, the second situation is like the first, only without such an aspect of suffering. Although there is pain in the process, it is really a matter of waiting...and waiting...and waiting.

Last night I heard a talk in conjunction with Acts 9 (Saul's conversion). It started with, everything can change in a moment and one question can change your life. There was lots of good stuff in the middle but for this post I'll skip to the end. The speaker challenged us to start asking different questions.

For some that were there last night, and perhaps some reading this blog, the question has been Am I happy? or Is this what I want? If that's the case, maybe it's time to start asking Am I making a difference?

For others, myself included, the question basically boiled down to what's next? And this, far more a matter of the next step--not the next phase and every step it will take to get to and through it, not the five year plan and all the who, where, when, why, and how, just the next step.

A psalmist wrote, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.*" The lamp he wrote about wasn't a 1,000 candle power flashlight or a 3-way switch lamp. It was more like a candle...a larger flame probably, but no maglite. It lit the next step.

At the end of our time together last night, in small groups, we talked about how we could be praying for each other. I wanted for them to pray that God would show me the path, the plan, the next phase. Instead, I asked them to pray that I would ask the right question and have the grace and courage to be obedient.

Jesus didn't say, "Here's the plan. Are you in?" He said, "Follow me." A lot of times I think that I want God's plan to be a place, a person, a job. Instead he invites me to a journey--to a position in which my heart and life are turned toward him. So, once again I remember that he is not just my God or Savior, he is my Lord. I align myself with him and I will take the next step even if I don't know the step after that.** I will walk by faith.


* Psalm 119:105
** I still don't know what the next step is, but for this moment, I'm okay with that. I still have plenty to do, work on, and in which to participate.
*** Special thanks to Rob Bell, Philip, and Bobby

A Celebration of Life

Today, two very important people’s lives will be celebrated—the first in birth, the second in death. My deep desire was to be at both of these celebrations but since plans don’t always go as we’d like, and I am unable to attend either, I will take time to commemorate here.

Life 1
This week a miracle milestone was reached as Noah Autumn reached her first birthday! After being born with HLHS (the left side of her heart never formed) she has survived surgeries and much more. Yes, she is a fighter but quite possibly the cutest one you’ve ever seen.

Her mom, Cass, writes, “…as the Psalmist writes in Psalm 63:

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.

Noah's life is a testament to the power and glory of her Maker. We have seen him work wonders in the sanctuary of her body; only through his power and grace has she lived to see today. To see her lift her hands, I am filled with hope that she also knows his love deeply in a way that is satisfying to her sweet, little soul.

Happy Birthday, Baby! May the miracles never cease!”

In lieu of gifts for her birthday, money is being collected to benefit African women through pre-natal care; life continues. Today friends and family will gather in Germany to celebrate Noah’s life with a birthday party. Baby Noah, I too celebrate your life!

Life 2
“I don’t want to live forever. I just want to live until I die,” and so were the words and the life of Randall Singletary (1983 - 2011). When I try to describe him succinctly, I falter. How can you do a life justice succinctly? As I considered his life, I couldn’t help but think about how Randall really “looked” like Jesus, it was just packaged so much differently than I’d ever seen before. You see, Randall was his only “angry black man” superhero version of Jesus.

He dreamed big dreams. They weren’t dreams marked by financial success and fame, rather he dreamt of making good films, telling good stories, and continue to both love God and be wrapped up in serving the homeless (wherever he found himself at the time) and in going to camp each summer to serve disadvantaged children and youth.

It seems a shame not to mention Randall’s charm and wit; they were two of my favorite things about him. His commentary on situations made me chuckle to myself, roll my eyes, and laugh out loud. His intelligence and humility kept me on my toes.

Today a memorial service will be held in NYC to celebrate Randall’s life. I have shed far more tears than I prefer for any celebration but, especially today, I will celebrate Randall’s life.

Additional Thoughts
As I reflected earlier in the week on these two lives, our friendships, and God, with questions still turning in the wheels of my mind, I wrote the following (with a tune for the second half ;)

With a breath from your mouth the cancer was cured
Through the skill of a doctor’s hand you gave life through an unformed heart
And with a flip of a switch a body was surrendered fully to death
and to your hands
I know, I believe your mercy was shown through each situation and
I trust you bring glory to yourself – as you so deserve – through each trial,
but I don’t know why
Some prayers are answered “yes” with a whisper, just a word
And some prayers are answered through others here on earth
And some prayers are answered “no”
But your mercy’s still the same
So I pray, Lord, to walk in grace as I live by your name

Yes, these lives have served as markers of both joy and trial. They point to a good God, who is not only the living God but as is life. Today we celebrate the life-giving God and two lives he gave.

---
For more information and to see pictures of Noah, please visit: http://cassandalex.blogspot.com/2011/04/happy-birthday-baby.html

For a glimpse into Randall’s life, check out these two videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBQ6ktebEME (memorial video)

http://vimeo.com/14060114 (camp video that Randall directed and edited – in the words of “Mama” Rose, “Randall went home to be with the Lord today. For those who are grieving, here is a little joy. Remember him well” ♥)

"Grace, It's a name for a girl

It's also a thought that changed the world" -U2

It seems I've heard a number of thoughts on grace recently. It may be that I've just been mulling over the same few thoughts rather than there being a lot of them but either way I wanted to share some of them (emphasis mine) from an interview* done by John Ortberg (JO) with Dallas Willard (DW) -- who's works I am not intelligent enough to read:

Re: the gospel in our day
JO: "If the gospel isn't primarily, 'here's how you make sure you get into heaven when you die.' What is Jesus' gospel?"

DW: "It's how to get into heaven before you die. That's it... Any New Testament scholar would tell you, I believe, What did Jesus preach? They would say 'the Kingdom of God" that's not quite right because what he preached was the availability of the Kingdom of God, to everyone, wherever they were, and whoever they were. And so he announced this and by his own presence makes it available..."

DW: "The reality is God is action. ...the main thing to understand is God acts in relationship with us. ...the important thing is to understand the Kingdom of God is God in action. That happens to turn out to be the same thing as grace. So grace now becomes a part of our lives and we experience it with us, by faith..."

...

JO: "I grew up with the idea that grace was just a synonym for the forgiveness of sins.
So really the only people who need grace are people who are unforgiven sinners."

DW: "Well, I know that that's true and I've heard leading ministers in our country here say that the only role of grace is guilt and forgiveness. That is an incredible misreading that you would get corrected if you just did inductive Bible study with 'grace'. You would find almost immediately that it's for life, not for forgiveness. It's for enabling us to live in such a way that God is a part of our lives and helping us to lead the life that he wants for us. The sinner is not the one who uses a lot of grace, the saint uses more grace. The saint burns grace like a 747 burns fuel on takeoff because everything they do is a manifestation of grace. And were not running our of grace, you know, there's lots of it. So we can use it but we have to learn how to do it and primarily that means that we no longer just trust our own efforts to manage our lives. That's our kingdom..."

JO: "So the gospel is the good news that God's presence and his action is available into my life right now, into our life right now?"

DW: "Absolutely right. And that's what you see in Jesus because when he came he brought that in touch with all kinds of people, especially the kinds who were not suppose to be in touch with God.

Grace is actually God acting in your life to accomplish what you cannot accomplish on your own."

...

JO: "How should we think about heaven?"

DW: "We should think of it as God's presence. God's presence, in action, is heaven..."

These a just a few snippets from the interview, which is well worth the listen. I'll leave you with the closing blessings from Dallas Willard:

"Now, may the Lord touch you with his spirit to bring good into your life. And may he open the way of the kingdom for everyone of you, right where you are, as you step forward from this hour and may you know the reality of the kingdom and its power and strength in everything you do. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. So let it be done."

Amen.

*Catalyst Podcast, Episode 124, released 2/27/2011

Art and Dignity

I recently watch the movie "Music Within". I'll warn you now that the film is rated R, primarily for language but I chose to overlook that for the true story on which it is based: Richard Pimental and his writing the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Just so you know, the first fifteen minutes or so are not great but give some insight into the story and set a background for the rest of the story.

One of my favorite scenes comes fairly late in the film. Richard has completed his writing and gives it to his friend, Art, who was, in large part, the reason he wrote the ADA. Art was a crude yet incredibly intelligent man with debilitating CP (cerebral palsy). Many people failed to understand him when he spoke, many people over-looked him, and those who did see him called him "freak" and other dehumanizing names.

After Richard finishes his writing, he asks Art what he thinks. Art goes on to say these words:
"You know what we cripples want...? To be seen. When they look at me out there now, you know what they see? Nothing. I'm ignored. How can you ignore this? But they ignore me, because I am so disturbing to their definition of human, that I make them feel. I love that. What you've created will help to make them see us."

Unless you have a disability, which forces you to face the challenges of accessibility each and every day, or you spend time with people who have special needs (specifically physical in this case), it is admittedly easy to overlook all the places that lack accessibility. Its difficult to pay attention to something of which you don't even know you're unaware.

So this is my call out.

It is not a call for more ramps, handicapped parking spaces or for the able-bodied people in the world who park there "for just a minute" while they run into a store to stop and think. It is a call out to each of us to pay attention, to notice the "cripples" around us - be they physically, mentally, or socially disabled or inept - at home, work, at the grocery store, or other places out and about. Acknowledge someone's personhood. Say hello, nod your head in their direction, smile. In so doing you not only restore their dignity, their humanness, you also help restore your own.

The film ends with Richard speaking at a dinner event. I'll leave you with a final though from him, "The differences that you make that are the ones of lasting importance, they're the little differences that you make in the life of another person."

(More than) Happy to Help

A few weeks ago I heard the 40th Psalm read aloud. This psalm of David begins, "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the LORD and put their trust in him." (Verses 1-3)

It is a beautiful Psalm but what struck me most was found later, in verse 13 (shown here with a little context):

11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, LORD;
may your love and faithfulness always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased to save me, LORD;
come quickly, LORD, to help me.


"Be pleased to save me..."

Through the years I've managed to find myself in sticky situations. I've been "stranded", in a bind at work, school, or in some other area of responsibility and in great need of help. I've also been on the other side, being in relationship with others who were in various kinds of need. I've been on the giving and receiving end of help simply because its the right thing to do. I've been on the giving and receiving end of help because "I can", "I have time", "it's no problem", "you're my friend", "I feel sorry for you", and no doubt other thoughts and feelings.

I've also had the pleasure (and relief) to be on the giving and receiving ends of sincerely "happy to help". I've had people who have stepped in at a moments notice to take care of something that was my responsibility when I was completely overwhelmed and incapable. People have come to my aid and enjoyed the experiences. :) I've also gotten to step in, join in prayer with or for, and help in situations, circumstances, and needs in which I was grateful to be involved. I was happy to participate.

In hearing the words of Psalm 40:13, "Be pleased to save me, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help me." I believe a smile crept across my face - an outward expression of what was happening in my heart. I've experienced glimpses of the pleasure that can come in "rescuing" someone. The thought of the Lord taking pleasure in rescuing me, in rescuing us, isn't a stretch for me. Zephaniah 3:17 tell us, "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

So, for all of us in need, in one way or another...or in a whole handful of ways, I pray, "Be pleased to save us, LORD; come quickly, LORD, to help us."