Jesus Calling

For Christmas I received a copy of the daily devotional book Jesus Calling. My friend has been encouraged (and perhaps challenged) by it over the last few months and gave me a copy.

Sometime over the last year I got into the habit of checking Facebook first thing in the morning. I would wake up, hit snooze on the alarm on my phone and lay the phone next to me. When the time came for me to actually heed the alarm's call, I would roll over, grab my phone and open Facebook. Of course, one of the main purposes was to justify staying in bed…

I’ve noticed that Facebook has become something I do/check more out of habit, or as something to putz around with because of lacking connection here far more than for actually connecting in most cases. So, I’m going to try to kick the habit. I naturally did it a whole lot less while I was home, surrounded by family and friends. It’s time to make (or at least try hard to make) that a reality here, minus the fact that my family is indeed, not here. I digress.

In light of embracing a new waking up process (yes, it is a process, usually a painful one), I started this morning by reading today’s writing in Jesus Calling, which is written from the perspective of God/Jesus. It wasn’t until I read it slowly, in pieces, the second time that this phrase stopped me in my proverbial tracks, “…I am fully attentive to you.”

Fully attentive. It’s not very often that we get “fully attentive” from people. I have a friend who would prefer to communicate with me on Facebook than over a meal… which I learned over and over again as she spent time on Facebook while we were, in fact, having a meal. People say that Bill Clinton is an expert at this – being fully present and attentive. (Warning: Jesus Juke: you know who else was that way? Jesus.) I’d like to be that way but I realized how often I don’t think of God as being that way. (Forgive me, Lord.)

Even as I was talking to God this morning I realized that it was more like I was talking at him or just throwing it out there hoping it would stick. John Ortberg’s God Is Closer Than You Think made me realize that a lot of times I prayed like I was writing a letter that would have to be sent and received. At times, journaling only perpetuates that for me.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe God loves me, cares for me, listens to me, etc. There are times of prayer that feel deeply connected and meaningful. But there are also times when I feel like God is the parent who is trying to do five (or 50) things at once – only one of which is listening to their child. So today I mentally grabbed God’s face (no theological implications here) – a hand on each cheek and looked into his eyes as I spoke. It was kind of strange, almost uncomfortable, but we’ll move past that and I’m looking forward to it.

How about you? Is prayer like a conversation, a letter, or a child in the other room?