Dear Rabbi...

I stole my friend's Rabbi, but neither of them know it yet. Let's just keep this between you and me and not tell them.

That might not make sense to you, but it should. See, I have this friend (he's not Jewish) but he has this friend that he calls his Rabbi (also, not actually Jewish, although sometimes he thinks he is, particularly in the holy land). You know, the kind of person with more knowledge and life experience than you who talks and teaches, instructs and inspires, counsels and corrects. He's one of those guys. I haven't had the opportunity to eavesdrop much (hardly at all, really) on them, but I still would like time with the Rabbi, so I borrow him, when I may.

He's a rabbi so he doesn't need to do much listening of me, at his feet. I need to listen to him. He let's me talk, listens, and responds, but now just doesn't seem to be the time for talking. It seems to be the time for listening.

So, here we are.

I am in process of writing an email to him, but I'm not sure how much to write, like I said, I really just want to listen. But... the pesky little problem of these thoughts on my brain. These questions, struggles, insecurities don't demand an answer, but some answers would be nice. In general, but especially because of them, I desire for someone(s) with more experience, knowledge, and maybe even more faith to respond, weigh in, invest in me. Yeah, it might be you.

Here's the thought:
I know I'm not "old" by any stretch of the imagination, but my recent trip back to the States showed me that I have moved, or am in the process of moving out of young-adulthood into adulthood. (Boo!) I feel like I still need some more time for questioning and searching that i associate with young-adulthood. :) I guess that's why some people talking about our search for God resulting, not in more answers, but rather in more questions. I don't enjoy the depth and beauty of that nearly as much as I should.

I think that I naively still associate adulthood with having things figured out and because I don't have things (no need to be specific here, just things)figured out, I'm not ready for adulthood, but it's here whether I'm ready or not. Hmm...

Any other Rabbis out there? I'm ready to listen.